Uber-Precious is Here!

Park Slope Food Coop.

REALLY???

I'm not the first, I won't be the last, but I WILL be taking the Food Coop / Park Slope to task right now.

Brief Info on Basic Coop Rules:
1) Membership Required (Application, Orientation Meeting attendance, $25 Join-Fee)
2) $100 PER HOUSEHOLD ADULT required as well (I've heard silly "you're-busted" stories)
3) You WILL WORK. Commie-Style. A few hours a week. (A tenacious Black-List catches naughty Lazies, suspends priviledges)
4) Website strikes ice-cold FEAR into those who might dare to check them out.

Having heard the various stories from neighborhood folks (both in and out of the Coop) frankly, I was turned off beyond curiosity. I'm about to shlep over there, way past all the other stores, and BEND OVER for the RIGHT to buy your food?
I have three words in mind, and they go something like: gofuckyourself.

Recently however, I've been toying with alternative ways of eating; certain Toxin-Free Diets that require serious adjustments in food aquisition. (Quinoa? Buckwheat Noodles?)
Finding this stuff isn't all that easy, so I became curious about the COOP. Went online, did a little proper research, and would you believe? I was MORE turned off than before.

These folks want to promote healthier, more globally efficient consumption?
A better, more just way to manage the planet's rescources?

Their FIRST assignment is to shrug off their aggregeous mantle of self-congratulation, and to WELCOME any curiously hopeful folks with helpful encouragement...not ridgidity, scorn, or off-putting exclusivity.

In Brooklyn, we DON'T take plastic bags. We DON'T own a car. EVERYTHING is dutifully recycled.
And so, while I gladly spend a good 16 hours of my month volunteering, I will be GOD DAMNED before I join this Nazi-style love-fest of I-told-you-so's...

Next Monday, when I sail by on my grimy old messanger bike, I'll be sure to raise my one-fingered salute.
Coop? thanks but no thanks.

David Byrne at Radio City Music Hall

Actually, the overwhelming experience of softly padding into Radio City Music Hall brought back unexpected waves of my childhood flights of the imagination; I introduced my husband to the movie Annie the very next day.